We chase for what we don't have..

This heading seems quite interesting but its the actual concept behind everyone's life. The thing we already have doesn't attract us and those things which are hard to get attracts us more. This is the basic philosophy of our life and is the truth which could be sometimes hurt us more than any other thing. Sometimes we don't even accept this and sometimes we do.
It depends on why our (Human) nature is just like this.
A pretty example can prove this easily. When we have our parents caring for us and being possessive for us we loose interest in them and despite of this we start taking interests in those objectives which we don't have like bikes, cars, houses, money, girl friends etc. But we often forget and take the things we have as for granted. And sometimes it becomes too late when we realize that the granted things are not their to be remained with us. And that condition makes us the most miserable.
You can ask it to yourself. Until we don't have teeth we will not give them the values they have simply because they are there for granted. We will never give value to our own self in front of money because we often took ourselves for granted. And when we fall on bed with severe disease... We start taking our care as that is the moment we take ourselves not granted and start taking care of ourselves.
Is this good..? Ask yourself.
I have learned from my living experiences that don't take anything for granted. May be at times you can take them for granted but this should be rare as we often don't realize that the things we take for granted are the things we are heavily depending on.
So its better to be early than be late....
Give values to what you already have and start praising what you have... and then make you mind clear to what you want in future. .....
"Think about it".

Fear of Falling or Failing

Often many of us have seen that we are running behind the success in our life. Few of them are running for success in their career. few of them for their success in life and rest for their success in relationships. But have you ever think that what is after that success..? If you are succeed with whatever you want in your life, you will either have to start the race of maintaining it or you will loose it after some point of time due to lack of interest or lack of favorible conditions. And once if you get down from it the problem starts creeping. you can't bear to loose at any cost. But then everyone of us should think that its good to be the first but its worst after that. Once you have become first than whats next ?

Have you ever asked this question to yourself. Prior to the success you will feel the answer is that i will become happy, everyone around me will become happier and rest of my life will be in peace, just like i am living in the heaven. But did you ever think that if you are not satisfied with yourself now, you will never be later on. And that is the truth of life.

e.g. First target of a person is to get educated, then to get a best job, then to get good raise regularly, then to get fame, then to get good social status with car, home, furniture and after that to get world's best wife who should be truthful and loyal and then to have a great child to make you fee proud and then their studies and this will end into the infinity loop or recursion with no termination.

We also not want to fail at any of these conditions and races...but somewhere we will fail else we will become god. How to overcome the fear of falling and failing...

Do we only deserve to succeed or failure ?

Is this healthy at all ?

Living alone and happy with it.

I am the one who is interested in his loneliness and is happy with it. I have always appreciated this approach as it is the best way one can excel in professional front. It indeed increases your dedication and determination. I have often found very talented and optimistic persons to like and live with all alone. They find it quite useful and effective. If you get to know about history you will found that there are plenty of people who don't have much friends. They always like to live alone. But they were never selfish. They served for our society and also done charities. Its that living alone will bring more concern towards your own career and growth.

Simple funda... less friends less distractions more time to get your tasks done in a better way.

Those who follows this approach can also have friends because living alone is not against the friendship. Its just a way to get your goals achieved.

As in Indian history there are plenty of sages who lived all alone in the jungle to remove distractions from peoples and relatives, just to get more concentration and more knowledge. There are quite some exceptions to that whom had achieved the same level of knowledge with their families with them. But they are very less and if they didn't lived with their families they would have achieved lot more than they did.

So its often required for all of us to stay alone get motivated and get what you want. If you have seen the Rocky III movie where the another boxer defeated Rocky Balboa and in order to win again he had to live in a small area concealed from outer glamor and media, with only few of his near and dear ones including wife. He accepted that living alone principle and later on achieved his goal of winning boxing match against the same boxer at the end.

All these shows that living alone is quite effective to get your goals fulfilled.... What do you think ?

Voice of Vivekananda - II

• You are the makers of your own fortunes. You make yourselves suffer, you make good and evil, and it is you who put your hands before your eyes and say it is dark. Take your hands away and see the light.
• The senses cheat you day and night. Vedanta found that out ages ago, modern science is just discovering the same fact.
  
• It will not do merely to listen to great principles. You must apply them in the practical field, turn them into constant practice.
• Of Jnana and Bhakti, he who advocates one and denounces the other cannot be either a Jnanin or a Bhakta, but he is a thief and a cheat.
  
• While real perfection is only one, relative perfections must be many.
• The wind of grace of the Lord is blowing on, for ever and ever. Do you spread your sail.
  
• Practice is absolutely necessary. You may be sit down and listen to me by the hour every day, but if you do not practice, you will not get one step further.
• So long as the 'skin sky' surrounds man, that is, so long as he identifies himself with his body, he cannot see God.
• Men worship Incarnations such as Christ or Buddha. The are the most perfect manifestations of the eternal Self. They are much higher than all the conceptions of God That you or I can make.
  
• The Happiest moments we ever know are when we entirely forget ourselves.
  
• Books cannot teach God, but they can destroy ignorance; their action is negative.
• The monk is the religious expert, having made religion his one metier of life. He is the soldier of God.
  
• I do not believe in a God who cannot give me bread here, giving me eternal bliss in heaven!
• The first thing to be got rid of by him who would be a Jnani, is fear.
  
• Brahmin, this Reality, is unknown and unknowable, not in the sense of the agnostic, but because to know him would be a blasphemy, because you are He already.
  

Expectations are the most vulnerable killers

Expectations are the most vulnerable killers...

During my past experience i have seen that the moment i started expecting something from myself or the other, i had to bear the burden of severe pain and discouragement. I have often tried not to have expectations on others as well as on myself but can't help it out. But that doesn't mean that i have always failed to it. I have found that those who are closer to mine are often good people to win my faith and the moment it happens expectation starts creeping up. And often I was not aware about my expectations towards others. I get to know about it only after it was broken out and i feel lots of pain and sorrow.

Its always easier to not to have expectations from self than others. This means if a person is lame, he always thinking that he can't walk or run, so he will not have the expectations from him to walk or run but will have expectations on others because they are fully fit.

How expectations creep ups on you ?
You can control your expectations but you can't force others to have expectations on you. And its the most dangerous situation of life. Those who have expectations on you are either your close ones or the colleagues. Whenever you do something special for them .... they will be happy from you...positive effect and they starts expecting more from you.... this is the negative effect. And the moment you break their expectations... they will easily become hurt or become anti towards you. And you have unwanted long list of close ones being hurt..those you don't want to hurt at any cost.

This is what human brain and heart is made of. Full of emotions and expectations. But that does not mean that you will not try to fulfill their expectations. But remember, more you fulfill their expectations, more they will expect from you. And this series will keep on going and going leaving you stressed out at last.

I have noticed that most of my relationships are often suffering due to this expectations. I have tried my best to manage each and every relationships .. but its not possible for me or even anyone. Sometimes some expectations are so killing that they contradict with the other's expectations. This means in order to get someone satisfied we have to make others dissatisfied. That is the most difficult situation of life. It gets worse when both of them are very close to you.

In computer's terminology this situation can also be called as deadlock or hanging situation. Where you are helpless and often in the mercy of others.

I have faced this situation more than ones and still not be able to find out how one should deal with these killing expectations.

Do you have the solution for this?

Keep on searching the answer for this as you are the best person to solve this problem. We have to learn from our past mistakes and have to move on.

Please comment if you have to solution for these...

Character: The Irony of enduring dams and brittle men

If we produce enduring dams but brittle men, what is the economics of it? If for saving the theory we wreck a country, what then has politics made of man? if men become like robots and robots more intelligent and capable than men, is nit not civilization in revers ? if prosperity is permitted to come only through exclusive ways of one's understanding for a section of people, excluding others, what have we gained by way of sanity, notwithstanding progress ? If we have established lines of communication connecting the entire world through which we are apt to scatter our inner venom all over the world, how have we covered distances ? If all our energies, skill, devotion, steadfastness and single mindedness are harnessed for toppling our brothers from their positions, is it not truly amazing creativity? if we are scientifically so able as to reach the moon on a spacecraft, and live on the earth like we do, are we not more under the lunar influence than scientific ?

If when 'progress' is made, we ourselves decline, how far have we then advanced?

Try to increase the level of toleration | Personality development traits

Level of toleration differs from person to person. But its always beneficial for all of us to increase the level of toleration. More we tolerate, better rewards in long run through it. I am still in this process of increasing my toleration power and sometimes i am able to tolerate everything comes to me whether its in the negative side and sometimes not. Sometimes even small things can hamper my toleration power. I know this is not good but man is made to practice and become perfect.

My main motive to share this article is basically to show why toleration is better than to react on each and every point of time, but this doesn't mean that one is coward or don't have the guts to stand against. Remember the trees which don't bends during the storm get down to death but the trees with flexible trunks can survive even the most dangerous storms too.

So toleration gives you power to know the limits of others while knowing their weakness too. The man who is tolerating others are actually gets to know the weaknesses of others as anger makes the man to show his own weak points to other and is always a silent killer.

Tolerance makes you tougher and tougher but will not makes you coward, for example an incident happened to me during the Navratri (Durga Puja) celebrations where i waited for 10 minutes to fuel my tank and when my turn comes another person started shouting to get fueled his tank. Petrol pump employees asked me calmly to wait for sometimes. I waited and let the person fueled first. And then i get the chance to fuel my tank. Now that was just the matter of few more minutes, but it also shows that if one can wait like a civilized human being for 10-15 minutes , can't he wait for another 5 minutes.

This what makes me feel good. I was not weaker than that person physically and can easily shouted with him for the chance to get fueled first. But why should i waste my precious energy on uncivilized beasts. I was smiling at him and he too got the feeling of mine and after some time he was not able to see in my eyes. He was feeling guilty of what he had done and still I was as calm as i could be.

Tolerance has given me great advantages under difficult situations. Its often seen that the person with less toleration power leads to criminal activities. He/she can't hold of his/her anger and does something which should not be done. Tolerance doesn't mean patients at all the cases. Patients is always associated with something positively done where as tolerance is associated with the negative deeds.

A book writer needs patients to get his book done where as a liquor shop owner needs tolerance to deal with the drunk customers....

So my friends it always required to increase your tolerance power with patients. .... Start this practice as early as possible and you will find less reasons to regret...

Positive thinking Vs. negative thinking.

Most of us often think about what and how should we think? What should be done in order to optimize our thinking process? How negative thinking or positive thinking will effect us? In long run which is going to be best for us Positive thinking or the negative thinking?

When you will start the process of searching the answers of these questions either by you elders or by books or even through internet, you will find that most of the answers given to you will influence you towards the positive thinking. But is it true always? Is it always profitable to think positively?

No, not always. In-fact what I am going to share here is not absolutely correct and i am also not biased towards the negative or positive thinking. I always believe something in between the both.

My basic formula for thinking is to think differently under different circumstances. This means when you have created something and needs comments from others on it. Immediately start negative thinking. Think what should be the drawbacks of you products and how to overcome them. If everybody starts praising you at once don't start thinking positively at that point of time because positive thinking is as good as negative thinking. Positive thinking gives you positiveness while negative thinking gives you negativeness. When you have blend of both you will lead to a better life. As we always know the ultimate destiny of positivity and the negativity is to become neutral. They can't find stability unless they become neutral.

So in order to make you life stable immediately start thinking on both the aspects of every decision and the react according to it.

An example to justify my point of thinking positive and negative in different situation would be as follows.

Suppose a student is going to give an exam. He should be filled with full of positive energy. Whatever he knows at that time, he should think papers are prepared with those chapters only.

But when he is going for the results , he should always opt for the negative thinking and start thinking that whatever he was expecting he will not get marks up to that extent. This will give him the courage to face the reality if his results are not too good. And give him full of pleasure if his results are better than he expects.

My main focus here is everything should be in balanced in your life. Positive thinking can make you over confident which could lead you to a failure and negative thinking can make you more courageous which could lead you to be more patient and develop fight back attitude.

So make you mind focused on the basic principles. The thing for which you are getting positive energy...you should give negative energy back to it and vice-versa. This will maintain the equilibrium of negative and positive energetic and also leads to its destiny i.e. neutral. Because ultimately everything is going to be neutral.....

Mistakes in life which should be avoided - II

Here is the second series of mistakes which should be avoided.

21. Please think as many times as possible before taking a decision but once taken just rely on it and support your decision.

22. Everybody tends to make mistakes. More you make a mistake, more you will learn from it. So keep making mistakes.

23. Be patient even in the toughest situation of your life. Remain quite and less talkative helps you to be patient. Its better to convert your anger and irritation into your silent motivation. Silent motivation is never ending.

24. Always commit what you can do easily. Don't commit those which you haven't done yet or you have to do some additional work to fulfill you commitment.

25. Eat food for living and not live for food. Too much eating is injurious to health. This also means that everything in life is required in balance. If balance is not maintained problems start arising.

26. Do not do dieting in order to loose weight. Do exercise and eat healthy. Weight not the problem. Main problem is fat so try to burn the stored fat. This also implies that most of us started our journey to solve a problem without knowing what is the cause of it and how to solve it. Some may even not know what is the problem exactly. This leads to wastage of time, money and efforts.

27. Whatever you have learned in your life will help you directly or indirectly. So whenever you learn, learn it with sincerity.

28. Before solving a problem please make sure whether the problem is already solved by someone else. If not then go for the solution. This will save your time, energy and money.

29. Deep breathing is a way to live longer as it will help your blood pressure down, make you calm and quite and make you body to utilize the oxygen completely. This simple practice often helps you to hold your nerve even when you are in panic situation.

30. Be happy with others success and happiness. Don't get envied by them. Remember all the success and happiness is not made for you. But you can enjoy them with others.

Mistakes in life which should be avoided - I

1. Don't expect things to change over the night. It takes time to change.
2. Don't be over ambitious as it will make you life ending up in rat race.
3. Forget about the past and leave the future. Just live in the present. If your present is not good how the future will be?
4. Always have a remote control of your life in you hand rather than giving it to anyone else. This way the expectations on you would be reduced and hence you can breathe some fresh air.
5. If you are doing some favor to someone please do so only if you can forget that favor. Don't expect anything from him in returns. If you are going to expect anything from him, better you avoid doing that favor to him. Even in the case of lending money. Give only when you know that even you didn't get back you can live happily.
6. Don't have plans for future. Those who have too much plans for their future ends up their life in a race to achieve them in limited time. And everyone is not so lucky to get them as desired.
7. Hard work not always gives you better results. Its the smart work that gives you the better results. So always seek advice from you elders before going for a hard work on any relative field.
8. Don't miss a moment of fun in your life as it is very rare in life and the frequency of it is very low.
9. Nothing is stable in this world. Every thing that come has to go, born has to die and so on. So when something happens in a negative way, don't get too panic and if something happens position, don't get too happy.
10. Studies are not the only way to know about anything. Advices, experiences and self conscious are also very important.
11. Everything in life just happens for its own reasons to lead you to your destiny. May be we didn't understand those happenings at that time but later on we understand those.
12. Each and every individual has their own destiny and according to it their progress speed depends. So don't try to be others. Be happy with what you are and don't try to be like someone you admire or want to be.
13. Degree is for mediocre. So don't get panic if you don't have the best degrees. Still you have the exceptional talent which could fetch you the best results. Remember most of the company CEOs are not MBA.
14. Always find time to improve yourself. In whatever profession you are. Remember knowledge is the real income for you as it can't be robbed off from you and is always with you without have to bear the burden of it.
15. Try and do whatever gives you the pleasure. Don't overdo the pleasurable things as it will lead you to boredom.
16. Life is full of struggle and its the God's way for us to realize that we are not everything.
17. Science is the best think we have earned yet and we should always follow it. Always analyze each and everything you see, hear and then take you decisions.
18. Be diplomatic before talking. Don't be too rude and don't be so polite. Both have disadvantages. If you are too rude then nobody will be there to help you out and if you are too polite people will take you as for granted.
19. If somebody is giving you plenty of pleasure be it your mom, girl friend, friend, sister, daughter, wife, husband and so on. Be prepared they are going to hurt you the most. So limit your dependencies on them in any form... whether its physical or emotional.
20. As you grow older life seems to be more and more complex. For example the more you know , you are prone to greater confusion. You will have more doubts in your mind. So at times limit your boundaries of knowledge. Too much is always bad.


Stay tune more lessons of my life are coming...

Improve your Communication Skills

Enhance Your Communication Skills:

Do you have and carry the communication skills in you? How effective are you in your dialogue and do you gather enough attention of the listeners or audience when you speak? These are the questions that need to be answered if you want yourself to be appreciated and heard among the crowd. Communication skills affect your interpersonal and social relationship with others and the response you get from them. Communication skills let you gather attention of the listeners when you talk.
Here are 6 skills that can make you impressive when you speak and can groom your personality.
1.) Try to sound more polite and a good listener-- always bear in mind to greet the listeners or audience before making an oral presentation or starting a conversation. Tell the audience what you’re going to tell them and at the end, summarize what you have told them.
2.) Be more articulate—people would judge your competency through the vocabulary you use. So make sure to exert extra effort to pronounce the last sound in a word and use its energy to carry over the following word. But then if you are not sure how to say a certain word, then do not use it at all, which can only pull down your communication skill instead of boosting it up.
3.) Try sounding more intelligent-- pause deliberately at some key points—this adds to the effect of highlighting the significance of a particular point you are making. Try to speak just a bit slow to allow yourself to choose your most appropriate vocabulary and to give the impression of being thoughtful.
4.) Be more confident—hold your head as if you wear a crown on it. Carry your whole body up and do not let your legs and arms have a side-to-side motion when you move. Always keep your knees and elbows close to the midline of your body. On the whole, your body movements express what your thoughts and attitudes really are and controlling them adds to your communication skill.
5.) Try to sound more polished. Don’t just answer a question with a blunt “no” or “yes”. Add or attach a short phrase of clarification. For instance, “Yes, I know Madam.” “No, I do not see it.”
6.) Be compassionate—most individuals are best at absorbing information they receive through their eyes, while others need hands on experience to set the message in their heads most effectively. So try to assess and judge how your listeners or audience are more comfy taking information from you and make sure you feed them in the same way as they like.
7.) Be more powerful-sounding-- do not ever shout or whisper—but speak clearly. Use short and simple declarative sentences. Convey to your listeners that you mean what you say and say what you mean. Do away with useless adjectives, adverbs and connectors, especially superlatives. Communication skills, as with most personal skills cannot be taught. One could only point the way. So as always, practice is the key and truly essential to enhance those skills generally and give it your best shot every time you speak.

Communication Skills plays a vital role in our career. By seriously working out on this skill even a very mediocre person can achieve his goal with much lesser efforts whereas a person with bad communication skills will never be filled with confidance hence wont be able to perform and display his one hundred percent.
Keep on working around for your communication skills and follow my words and I will take the guarantee for your dreams, your career and your vision !!
Since its a very deep and serious issue for the career-seekers, I am ready to write more for my fans.
So just stay tuned in..... ...